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Where social behaviour is concerned, etiquette and good manners are key; they can inflict disorder and shatter your name, or restore harmony and embellish conflict. The manner with which you do something, your capacity for elegant and dignified conduct, is a victor’s move. Graceful conduct loosens you from tricky conditions and wins you favour. It is an ingenious trick.
There is no graceful conduct without courtesy, civility and diplomacy among people, this sets the footing for a poised and charming character that is neither stiff nor apprehensive. To be stylish and poised, you must overcome your propensities, especially those that are graceless and awkward, or indicators of fragility, timidity and indecision. Flow like water, neither in opposition with yourself nor readily and carelessly opposing others. An air of effortlessness goes a long way, if you try too hard, you rouse suspicion and lack of faith, but if you don’t try at all, you will look beggarly and deficient. You must balance your polarity, and maintain a good sense of equilibrium between vice and virtue.
Grace Sweetens Everything
People find natural grace revering because it puts them at ease, gives solace to their insecurities and modulates their resistance. Both of which are to your benefit; if others feel pleasant and easy-going around you, they are more agreeable and less antagonistic, which in turn provides you with the opportunity for careful artifice. Grace is a cushion, it dresses up truth by pacifying it and mitigating its hostility. You can discern a wise man by his unhurried and measured etiquette, he disregards haste and impulsiveness and arms himself with forethought and attentiveness. All elements which parry civility and elegance are graceless; haste, rashness, impulsivity and vulgarity, all enhance the likelihood for imprudent behaviour.
Disagreeableness and Authority
Still, your poise must go with a firm disagreeableness and authoritativeness, both heighten ascendancy and elevate honour. Being disagreeable is not about being deliberately unpleasant, it is rather about refusing to permit disrespect or exploit, and knowing how to gracefully turn down others without causing them undue and needless offence. While the foolish insensibly displease others, the wise exercise discretion to take care of their civility and good judgement. Furthermore, to know when and how to be disagreeable is a mark of good sense, for one should not subvert his position or deceive himself at the expense of agreeability or lack of assertiveness. These qualities are the essential bedrock of masculine strength; reason and virtue, disagreeableness and authority.
Praise and Subtlety
To be commended and know how to commend is crucial, a thoughtful remark of approval goes a long way, and a civil and modest acknowledgement of admiration is reputable and graceful. When giving compliments, do not allow your admiration to turn into excessive flattery; such behaviour will accomplish the opposite, it will rouse unneeded uncertainty and convey a certain falsehood and duplicity that stifles your good points.
An air of subtlety in everything you do is divine and refined, it amplifies your good points and dampens your weak points. Subtlety is not flashy, it is not undisguised and transparent. It is rather an understated, tasteful demeanour that is unassuming and open, complemented with boldness and a selective and ingenious ruthlessness. Therefore, subtlety should always be contrasted with sharp strong points; a brave and daring nature, a tough spirit and a well-directed leadership that is readily disposed to command and control.
Repute and Care
There is no grace without a sense of thoughtfulness and regard, you must know how to guard your reputation with tact and leverage it in the right social settings to magnify its worth. Remember, a sound reputation always augments your strong points, but one fatal error could destroy your stature very quickly. Preserving a good reputation is easier than carving it, thus, when you have cultivated a sound name for yourself, take good care that you do not let its prosperity pervert you into neglecting it and misusing it for ill means.
Part of having a good reputation is knowing how to employ it wisely and knowing how to assist the right people around you, both for their benefit and yours. While etiquette is important, it is to your benefit to work on your character and constantly polish it through diligent discipline and lawful habits that will expand and illuminate your stature and social affairs.