Philosophy

Modernity has altered our understanding of what is truly rewarding, what is inherently beautiful. Beauty has become ambiguous, even paradoxical. It has come to mean whatever we decide it should, shaped by our whims and flaws. Simple joys—savoring good food, enjoying friendship, wearing quality clothes—are undervalued today, dismissed as mundane. We lack both refined taste and the sensitivity to recognize things of genuine beauty. We try to reshape beauty, as if it were out of style or no longer relevant, and through our arrogant progressivism, we’ve sought to tear down timeless truths. What was once pure, objective, and eternal is now seen as obsolete.

These so-called “ambitious” reformers—high-handed and ignorant of heritage—have turned what was once noble into something grotesque. Our culture’s obsession with deception and artificiality has transformed beauty into something unnatural and vile. Today’s beauty is devoid of divinity, disconnected from the higher nature that governs order. Instead of nurturing beauty, we distort it to reflect our inner chaos—a chaos made all the worse by a misguided sense of progress. Many of those who partake in this madness are unaware of their own beliefs. Their rebellion isn’t driven by genuine thought but by a deep, unresolved affliction. They march in defiance, not just of the high-minded who wish to preserve order, but also against their own misery, cloaked under the banner of impartiality and egalitarianism, as though such movements could restore their inner peace.

These lost souls, driven by an empty individualism, seek only to protect their fractured identities. Their protests are a manifestation of their dissatisfaction, an unbridled rage directed at an imagined oppressor, the “patriarchy.” But the real source of their discontent is not a patriarchal system, but their bitterness towards their own lesser father—the one who failed to provide guidance or authority. Is it not contemptible for a woman to despise what she doesn’t understand? She may feel oppressed, but can she truly distinguish the root of her suffering? If she were truly wise, she would not be so consumed by anger and misguided protest.

What they protest for is a fiction, a cleverly spun narrative that deceives them into believing they possess some moral high ground. Yet, contemporary women are exalted for nothing more than superficiality—obscenity, fake glamour, and arrogant hubris. Many men, eager to please, elevate women of all temperaments simply because they are female. This misguided behavior only perpetuates the damage, promoting dishonesty and unhealthy standards. Any man with clarity of mind will reject such distortion of beauty and truth.

For me, beauty is not a passing fancy of moral decay. I have spent years honing my sense of taste, purifying it from the dirt that clouds judgment. This, I believe, is essential to draw near to truth. I find no pleasure in mingling with those whose desires conflict with mine, forcing me to wear false masks and tell hollow jokes to avoid upsetting their fragile feelings. What I value is simple, sincere beauty—the kind that doesn’t need to be manipulated or redefined. I find deep joy in humility and companionship, but not with those who spread unnecessary harm and chaos. I cherish the idea of a woman who embodies modesty and grace, who stands by her femininity without pride or aggression. Yet, I find no peace in a woman who undermines my foundation, seeking to use my strengths for her own gain.

Simple pleasures should not be overlooked. A sunset, a peaceful walk along a river, reading a book by the ocean—these are priceless gifts. But we must be fully present to appreciate them, as if we’re aware that life is fleeting. Modern culture lacks taste, polluted by superficiality and indulgence. Anyone with a true sense of discernment can recognize the blandness, the dissonance, the decay of contemporary life—an unraveling of beauty, morality, and honesty.

Defiance is not just a choice, but a necessity for anyone who seeks to preserve their ethical integrity in this fractured world. Can a man of principle accept the degradation of modern norms? Does he not, by his very nature, turn away from anything that compromises his morals? A true man of character does not bend to superficial conventions. His morality is not a surface-level projection but a deep, unwavering principle, rooted in his soul. A cultured man is not afraid to stand apart from the crowd, disagreeing when it matters, agreeing only when it aligns with his values.

The man of distinction does not conform to the flawed conventions of the world. His conception of beauty is not tainted by emotional baggage or societal pressures, but shaped by an objective standard—one forged through personal struggle, self-discovery, and transcendence. The search for truth strips away the illusions for those who seek it earnestly, but for those who reject it, it only deepens their confusion and disarray.

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“Now since we are undertaking to live, without companions, by ourselves, let us make our happiness depend on ourselves; let us loose ourselves from the bonds which tie us to others; let us gain power over ourselves to live really and truly alone – and of doing so in contentment.”

Michel de Montaigne

There is nothing more amicable and hostile than man. He is unfriendly by wickedness and congenial by character. Dare you may say you are unencumbered by wrong for having to deal with the immorality of others, but they too were upbraided for sin who tormented the villains. Two choices: you either abominate the sinful or follow their example. Both recourses indicate menace – if you become a monster, there are many alike; if you despise the many, you find much disparity.

Accordingly, if your soul is not made lighter to the pressure of the load, carelessly moving about only swells the strain, in the same way a cargo is more steadfast and less disruptive when strapped in position. More injury is inflicted by moving the victim about. You unsettle his sickness and worsen his shape. For that reason, it is not sufficient to retreat from the crowd or move to another state. You have to depart from the rabble’s features that lie within yourself: it is your self that you must identify and regain. In his Odes, Horace says: “Why do we leave for lands warmed by a foreign sun? What fugitive from his own land can flee from himself?”

If we are taking responsibility to live without the help of fellows, we ought to make our contentment hinge on ourselves. We have to slacken the fetters that bind us to others. This is your power: to master your rule and learn to sincerely live alone, wholly content and at ease. You have lived amply for others, assisting their interests while compromising your own. Now you must learn to live for yourself, fetching your beliefs and thoughts back to your own good health and prosperity.

When the Barbarians ravaged the city of Nola, Paulinus [The local Bishop] grew poor and was incarcerated. But his prayer betrayed an appreciable single-mindedness: ‘Keep me O Lord from feeling this loss. Thou knowest that the Barbarians have so far touched nothing of mine.’ The means that elevated him and the favourable goods that made him righteous remained unharmed. Paulinus shows beyond doubt what it means to pick out unbribable riches; secreting them in a place no man can invade or reveal. Before everything, man should have vigorous health; as well as children, spouses and worldly goods. Still, we should not grow cemented, making our contentment pivot on them.

Lay aside a room only for yourself, devoid of hindrances; there you will bring sovereignty into being, your foremost peace and refuge. Inside, your usual dialogue should be of yourself, with yourself: so acquainted with ourselves that the external world finds no place within its confines. You should converse, chuckle and marvel as if you had no family, belongings or lovers. Ergo, when the time of loss draws near, it shall not be a novel and insufferable circumstance to sustain yourself in their absence. Our soul is intelligent and adaptable, it can bear its own companionship and has the means to assail and protect; to give and be given. In such isolation, let us not dread bending in burning indolence.

“In lonely places, be a crowd unto yourself.”

Tibullus, IV

Why do we take a stand against Nature’s laws, enslaving ourselves by making our pleasure depend on others, thereby handing over our vital power? To disagree with nature is to grow impotent. Do not paralyse your force by ensaring yourself in other people’s laces; it’s catastrophic. And among other indulgences, you must abdicate the fulfilment that comes from others’ assent. By your resolute nature, even your hideouts ought to be illustrious and admirable. Constancy is unwavering even when nobody is gazing; virtue does not falter when it is solitary and does not seize the chance to disparage its own good when tempted. Further, a man with nothing to add should desist from taking. We must draw in our strengths and retain them within; and those who can upturn the burdens of love and let them flow inwards should not be reluctant to do so. During that degeneration that makes an insistent man a futile impediment to others, allow him to skirt round becoming a futile impediment to himself; allow him to spoil, adore and restrain himself – regarding in his reason, concerning in his moral sense. He can not lose balance in their company without sensing disgrace. Respectable men are few and far between in this day and age: “It is rare for anybody to respect himself enough.”[Quintilian]

Move, then, to the extemities of delight but guard yourself against that mingling agony of going too far; if you don’t know when to hit the brakes, you will meet the inexorable suffering of superabundance. As Persius says in his Satires, “Let us pluck life’s pleasures: it is up to us to live; you will soon be ashes, a ghost, something to tell tales about.” But we clutch our shackles and take them with us, still gaping at the things we casted aside in times bygone. Indeed, your liberty is not absolute and your imagination not absolutely enlivened. Really, the masses are willing to trade their most dear pleasures and life itself for the people they care for. And seeing that their intimate dealings don’t sufficiently awaken trouble, they start battering and bullying their head with the worries of their nearest relatives. Those chains you carry must be unfettered and from this point onward, lash to nothing but yourself; let the stand be yours yet not too affixed that it cannot pull apart a bit of your self. For as Montaigne says, “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to live to yourself.”

“That mind is at fault which never escapes from itself.”

Horace, Epistles

Young man are to be instructed; developed men are to engage in heroic exploits; aged men are to depart from civil and soldierly duties and live the remainder of their life as they desire, unhindered by fixed burdens. When Pliny the Younger instructed his friend Cornelius, he said ‘I counsel you in that ample and thriving retreat of yours, to hand the degrading and abject care of your estates over to those in your employ, and to devote yourself to the study of letters so as to derive from it something totally your own.’ The sages impartially enlighten us to extricate ourselves from traitorious cravings and learn to discriminate good pleasures from those raptures weakened and fused by suffering. It has been said that most joys stroke and cuddle us only to stifle our composure, just like the Philistae [termed by the Egyptians – meaning thieves]. If a hangover preceded insobriety, no man would tipple in surplus – pleasure tricks us by walking at the fore rather than behind, thereby secreting her course.

The severity of their law is flattened by custom – their sexual cravings are spurned and pacified by self-denial and nothing can safeguard them save application and utility. The delights and ecstasies of this valued existence will truly deserve our relinquishment in another perennial lifetime. But if you can resolutely blaze your soul with the zest of a high-spirited trust and aspiration, you will have found a reality filled with the finest pleasures. So, bother yourself over what you say to yourself, not over others’ say of you – depart inwards, but arrange to embrace yourself, as it is folly to delegate yourself to yourself if you are incapable of self-rule. Let us take Propertius’ word, then, and “Let each man choose the road he should take.”

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“The ultimate dishonesty is the false appearance of honesty.”

Plato

Pleasure – The Flatterer’s Realm

Plato states that an elevated level of love for oneself is commonly excused, yet he also argues that it gives rise to an important and solemn fault [not to allude to the host of secondary faults]. A person who is infatuated with himself cannot make a neutral judgement of himself, it is simply not possible since that degree of desire for himself dirties and muddles his good sense and throws neutrality out the window. Where the flatterer is concerned, this element of self-love and desire is employed, inspiring in everyone self-deception and unawareness, so the good and bad are no longer noticeable and thus unfit to acknowledge and set right. 

The flatterer camouflages himself in friendly and pleasurable facades, the underlying motive behind it has no concrete account except that he has discerned that a true friendship does not shut out pleasure. Thus, the realm of the flatterer is pleasure and that is what he uses to lure people into his trap. The striking quality that makes the flatterer both elusive and enthralling is his pliable nature and his ability to mirror one’s attitudes, interests and desires. After all, one of the initial elements that bring people together to form a friendship is similarity and like-mindedness, so to speak, the mutual bond that is reflected between two individuals. 

The flatterer, knowing this, adapts himself according to the other person, giving the appearance of resemblance through this mirroring effect. The flatterer, then, mimics the behaviour of someone he wants to lure into his trap, and when he does, he makes the other person liable to his praise and flattery; this is a well-known facet of cunning that irresistibly and perfectly plays to people’s conceit and self-love, their lack of conscious awareness with regards to this overt flattery and its potential force is generally overlooked by the people who are targets of flattery. The flatterer has understood that where pleasure and vanity overlap, there is vulnerability, at least for most people it is thus. 

Without exception, the dawn of friendship is where reciprocal nature and character align between two people, the relationship that is generated through this similitude and affinity makes for a profound bond that is for the benefit of both people since they both value the other’s presence and temperament. Where there is similarity, there is liking and where there is liking, there are enjoyment and affection. On the other hand, the flatterer mimics this liking to win people over, not out of genuine correspondence, but by his versatile and changeable nature and ability to discern one’s character and modify himself accordingly. In other words, he makes himself an object of pleasure and desire through the renunciation of reliability and authenticity. 

The Changeable Nature of the Flatterer

We tend to hold a certain conviction towards people who readily and happily express favour or liking and only express distaste when they are pressured by exterior forces. If you know a person has previously expressed praise or approval towards you, you are more willing to allow and admit his criticism and prejudice, so long as kindliness was a precondition. Thus, it is generally the decent, fair and pleasant person who grants the flatterer and lets him into his life without heedful caution, eventually becoming a victim of his flattery. Covert flattery is a dangerous gamble; serious, under the table admiration can wreck a real friendship if not attended to with care since its intrinsic nature is identical to that of friendship. Plato states, ‘The ultimate dishonesty is the false appearance of honesty.’ The flatterer is capable of exercising false sincerity to disarm his target and build an apparently transparent relationship with his target, not through genuine bonding, but through forgery. The flatterer knows that most people value honesty and sincerity and if he can simulate that honesty to preserve his changeable nature, that will be his course of action to enter a person’s spirit. 

Similarity emotionally draws people in and when someone has entrusted the other person with a secret, the other person is more disposed to reveal a secret of his own. Once this mutual revelation has taken place, a relationship has shaped itself and with it comes a fear of betrayal. Since both parties have mutually made themselves vulnerable, or at least seeming to have, only the sincere person will feel dread and fear towards their relationship. On the other hand, the flatterer circumvents this vulnerability through the use of false sincerity, he conveys to the other person the appearance of honesty to get him to open up and reveal himself. But the flatterer does not openly put himself out there, he may give the impression that he is taking a vulnerable position or making a confession during a dialogue, yet this is imitation and not frankness. 

Through the flatterer’s powers of imitation, he penetrates your deeds, actions, habits and necessities. For this reason, the flatterer is a source of pleasure that people find captivation and hard to discern, more so because his aura clouds their judgement and the veil that he wears hypnotizes them. When one’s judgement is clouded, said person is directed by a warped perception that is misleading and grounded in deception. To compound it, when you add the pleasure connected with his presence, you are invariably put under his spell if you lack the caution and awareness to make out such a state of affairs and then to know how to act to avoid hanging out with said characters. 

In general, one could say that the flatterer has compromised his ego to preserve a formless and changeable nature that is not outwardly grounded in a mode of conduct that is constant and consistent. Although the flatterer’s duplicity does no good to anyone, it certainly deludes people into thinking they are something greater or lesser than what they actually are; often it is the former, where the flatterer is concerned. This does not exclude defects, the flatterer also imitates one’s flaws in an attempt to make the other person feel better about himself, even though his attempt in doing so makes the other person less inclined to resolve the issue at hand and engenders counterproductivity. The flatterer is a source of comfort, even when that comfort is not what is needed for your progress, he will nevertheless be there to console you and make you feel as if things are fine through mirroring, even when they’re not and his flattery is clearly having an adverse effect on your judgement.

This is how the flatterer wins people to his side, he simply appeals to their image by reflecting it back to them. Reputation is an important aspect for the flatterer, their character is such that preserving a good reputation is absolutely necessary. When an elusive flatterer has won people to his side through his proficient mimicry and imitation, sustaining a good reputation becomes easy, but only so long as his flattery does not generate doubt and suspicion among the victims. Once there is a shudder of doubt starting to permeate the air, the flatterer’s reputation is at risk. 

A Flatterer is Not Fit for Friendship 

Because the flatterer shapes and adapts himself in relation to someone else, honesty and distinction are not his agents, intricacy and duplicity are his real agents; the flatterer is continually fluttering from one domain to another and his form is determined by the vessel that admits him. [People, in general, naturally derive many of their qualities from the attitudes and styles of other people.] When Dionysius had a weakened vision, the flatterers among him would seemingly give the impression of collision and ‘accidentally’ let their plates fall during meal times. 

You see, flatterers adapt to circumstance and dance with its rhythm, but their metamorphosis is not difficult to discern, the way you do it is by giving the impression that you too are changeable, denouncing a way of life you have formerly praised or recommended and by unexpectedly involving yourself in activities and behaviour you earlier abhorred. This will make it crystal clear that the flatterer has no sense of permanence and steadfastness – his likes and aversions are not triggered by congenital sensation since he acts like a mirror, where the reflections he lets in stem from the external world. Furthermore, he is disposed towards the damaging aspects of a person; the fact he emulates contemptible conduct tells you that he keeps away from a reputation that is reproving of it and in addition, it is those people who endeavour for development that are doubted of being upset and resentful of their friends’ faults. 

It is important that you do not fail to notice a specific ploy the flatterer employs when he is emulating other people; if he does not emulate some of the good qualities of the person he is trying to flatter, he confirms that justice is on the side of the other person, not himself. A flatterer is not a friend you can share an honest relationship with, genuine friends are not opponents and there is no underlying bitterness or jealousy between them and whether one is more or less successful than the other, composure and poise prevail.

Thus, if you want to do away with the flatterer, you must be exceptionally cautious and vigilant, given that he is interwoven with the threads of friendship and similarity, that you do not abandon virtue with vice and admit the door to menace by gratifying pleasantry. In closing, Sophocles says the following about friendship; “He was born for mutual love, not mutual hatred.” A genuine friend does not emulate your every minute detail or eagerly commend all you do, but supports and upholds only the finest things that approximate goodness.

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“Admiration is the opposite of contempt, and it is, of course, a sign of a more reasonable and equable nature; all the same, it too needs quite a lot of caution, and perhaps even more.”

Plutarch

Introduction

Epictetus contends that there is an expertise in conversing by which the talker benefits himself, as well as the listeners. Without such expertise, the speaker would harm, yet even when the speaker possesses such ability, a reasonable portion of his listeners are wronged. Listening is a requisite ability if the listener is to profit, in much the same way ability is requisite when you are examining a work of art that was constructed by an able carver. Consequently, the efficacy of the discourse is hinged on the competence of the listener to discern and reap benefits from what is being said. 

Open-minded listening necessitates quietness, absent of derogatory and unsettling intrusions. Furthermore, it calls for ridding yourself of envy of a speaker’s prowess and disdain towards his shortcomings. You should be discerning and countering to brilliance to your merit and when blunders are noted, contemplating on how you could improve or surpass them. Accordingly, we should be focused on both reasoning and subject matter for the good of our intellect. The art of listening, as well, demands a degree of discretion; inquiry should not be employed as a means to deflect, digress or wittingly put forward a question the speaker is inept to respond. For, a discourse relies on a combined effort between the speaker and listener, thus even declarations of honour and acclaim should acknowledge the speaker’s characteristics. Moreover, the listener should react decently to apposite individual judgement, unaccompanied by ignorance or remonstrance. On the one hand, to stand up to said criticism shamelessly and dismiss it is the quality of an inconsiderate pest; on the other, to hurry into the consolatory weapons of your friends unveils delicacy and fragility with no control or firmness. The responses and backlash of the listener are expressions of his ethical nature. 

A new listener can be at the helm of failure; either through bashfulness which stops him from inquiry and in turn, results in unease and uncertainty when complete inevitability subsequently provokes him to put a question; or by putting on airs and simulating understanding when he is actually unknowing and is simply substantiating his incomprehension. The listener should, therefore, attempt to pivot on the speech, recurrently grappling with his ignorance; listen to comprehend, not to make a response. In contrast, the listener shouldn’t at once credit everything as gospel – the mind is for setting alight, not for thoughtless stuffing. To sum up, the basis for genuine living is genuine listening. 

The Ears are the Handle of Virtue

In the same way women throw away their reticence with their clothes, so do youthful people abandon their childhood robe. In doing so, they renounce both bashfulness and carefulness, soon depriving themselves of appropriate clothing and spilling over with hedonism. The transition from childhood to adulthood forms a new leader; this is where you take on the godly authority of reason and rationality, for only the sensible and well reasoned earn the acclaim of liberty – they live as they desire since they desire only what is essential. On the other hand, inferiority fosters disobedience and unreasonable deeds; there is little liberty in indecisiveness and hesitancy. 

It is philosophy that infuses young men with the brave, masculine, ideal and disciplined harmony and disposition that truthfully arises from rationality. On condition that no flattery and defeatism has polluted the youthful man, the ears are the handle of virtue. For, a young man who refused all orders and never savoured well-reasoned dialogue continues to be unproductive and sterile of goodness, with the likelihood of growing spoiled and unnatural towards failing and wrongdoing. When you grant such proclivities to wander without restriction down their natural course [since their essence is not self-control through the use of good argumentation to eliminate or redirect them], there is no untamed savage which wouldn’t reveal itself to be domesticated in contrast with man. 

Two Ears, One Tongue

It is discernible that for the majority of people, their approach towards listening is turned upside down, as it were; they work on their speaking skills previous to learning to listen, assuming that speaking takes mindful inquiry and consideration and virtue will accumulate even with an inattentive attitude towards listening. As Plutarch says, “Nature gave each of us two ears, but one tongue, because we should listen more than we speak.” For a young man, quietness is an embellishment, more so if he has the capacity to listen without growing exasperated and abruptly retorting the speaker, even when the remarks are decidedly undesirable, he tolerates them and holds back his tongue until the speaker finishes. Furthermore, to politely and briefly stand by following his final remarks to discern whether the speaker wishes to mention any additional words, improve, or shed light on something. In contrast, to castigate in vengeance, intervene during his talk and neither listen nor be listened is disgraceful and despicable. 

People’s Conceit and Envy

He who possesses the ability to attentively listen in a composed and deferential manner is responsive and retentive of beneficial comments. Simultaneously, the futile and counterfeit is clear and perceptible to him since he is directing himself at the truth rather than winning the disagreement. If you wish to inculcate utility, focus more on reducing the affectation of others since people are commonly brimming with the nonsense of conceitedness and thus are unreceptive listeners. There is nothing more unappetizing to the envious than other people reasoning competently, for their envy compels them to hear all that is good as dreadful, displeasing and undesirable. Jealousy is annoyance towards other people’s prosperity, status or attractiveness; it is other people’s success that displeases the envious person, begrudging what is to his benefit. Consequently, just as light is lawful for those with the faculty of sight, so is discourse for those with the faculty of perceptive listening, if they are disposed to open-mindedness.

Know How to Praise

The perceptive listener should put an end to the incongruity and antagonism between the need for command and the need for status and eminence and as a worthier substitute, attentively listen to the talker courteously and gallantly. Moreover, you must know when to commend the speaker; if he demonstrates proficient ability, you should approvingly express admiration and cheer for his purpose in making known what he understands well, and in making use of the reasoning that he personally regards as persuasive to attempt to convince other people. When a man achieves prosperity, you ought to recognize that it is by no mere fortune or arbitrary triumph, but merited by conscientiousness, diligence and careful learning; such victory is worthy of our adulation and desire and we should strive to breed it within our life. 

Contemplation and Inquiry

Shortcomings are easier to discern in others than in yourself; careless calculation, empty expression, vulgar speech and exhilarating or flavourless pleasure in searching for praise are plainer to see in others than ourselves when speaking. Thus, you should shift your careful examination from the orator to yourself and inquire whether you are making the very same errors without foreknowledge. Moreover, when you are confronted with people’s omissions, you need not resist reciting to yourself Plato’s phrase, “Am I really sure that I’m not like that too?” – In the same way you perceive your eyes mirrored in your neighbours, where conversing is affected, it too is assured that your idiosyncrasies are mirror images of others. Consequently, you should put an end to hurriedly dashing into disdain of others and instead cultivate care and alertness when speaking. 

When you have turned away from the talk, you can extract something you think the speaker managed unsuccessfully or incompetently and attempt to deliberate on it by putting yourself in his position, as it were, and treating the errors through considering mistakes, rectifying a flaw, and conveying an abstraction in a different manner. Conversely, you can also take an original stance on the subject matter and engage as such.

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